Kabuchai MP Majimbo Kalasinga has urged President William Ruto’s administration to clarify its directive and public pronouncements on foreign nationals operating small-scale businesses in Kenya, warning that the manner in which the issue is handled could fuel xenophobia and expose Kenyans living and working abroad to retaliation.
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‘I’ll be there for you’: How abusive men use charm to manipulate women
One of the obstacles to spotting ongoing mistreatment in relationships is that many abusive men do not look like abusers. They have many good qualities, including kindness, warmth and humour, which hide their harmful behaviour, especially early in the relationship.
An abusive man is good at showing warmth at the start, by often making his partner feel special. This perfect beginning is part of almost every abusive relationship. There is an early pull of niceness that makes the victim feel comfortable and unsuspecting enough to lower her guard.
It is the power of those early months that hooks her and gets her attached. The charming start of a relationship with an abusive man can trap a woman. Like anyone in love, she tells her friends and family about her great man and his good points, and after praising him so much, she feels embarrassed to admit his later mistreatment.
When he starts abusing her, given how wonderful he seemed before, she assumes his abuse is something wrong inside him. She struggles to let go of her dream, since she believed she had found an amazing man. She starts wondering if she did something wrong or if something is deeply wrong with her, and easily looks for the problem within herself.
A question people often ask psychiatrists is: When an abusive man is charming at the start, is he deliberately planning to hook her and mistreat her later? According to Lundy Bancroft, who has worked with abusive men for almost 40 years as a counsellor, evaluator and investigator, the answer is no.
As an abusive man falls in love, he dreams of a happy future together, just as the woman does. He pictures a future where the woman meets all his needs, is attractive and sexy at all times, has no needs of her own, and admires his brilliance and charm.
He wants a woman who will look after him and never complain about anything he does, or bring him down with her own frustrations and unhappiness. The abusive man is mostly unaware of these selfish fantasies.
He has no way of knowing that he is looking for a servant, not a partner. He uses the language of togetherness, which convinces his partner. “We are going to be really good for each other,” “I really want to be there for you,” “I'll help you study so that you can get that promotion.”
He believes his own promises, because he wants to see himself as a caring partner who does not use and disrespect women. When he begins to control her, he finds endless ways to convince himself it is not happening, or that it is her fault. Abuse is not his goal, but control is, and he ends up using abuse to gain control, which he deeply believes he is owed.
Lundy gathered deep knowledge and insight from more than 2,000 cases, before writing the bestselling domestic violence book, Why Does He Do That? Inside the Minds of Angry and Controlling Men. He began working with abusive men, alone and in groups, in 1987, while starting a programme called Emerge, the first agency in the US to offer special services for abusive men.
The men Lundy worked with used far more verbal and emotional abuse than physical violence, though most had been physically threatening or violent at least once. Just as important, the female victims of violent men described the same pain in their lives that Lundy saw in women who had suffered psychological abuse—showing that different forms of abuse cause similar damage.
One common, unhealthy pattern in an angry and controlling man is that he keeps telling you what to think, and tries to get you to doubt and ignore your own views and beliefs.
An abusive man builds the kind of relationship he wants through charm and lies, and expects to keep it that way forever. When he starts to put her down and frighten her, he blames her and paints her as the villain for not letting him lie and manipulate his way. Worse, he doesn't see manipulation as abuse.
Abusive men are clever, calculating, and avoid admitting the harm they have caused women and children. They blame the victim, lie outright, shift blame and twist the truth to justify their actions, and have habits of mind that stop them from treating women with respect.
Most abusive men only agree to join a counselling programme when their partners threaten to leave. They then twist their counselling sessions to suit their own hidden purposes, instead of taking responsibility and looking honestly at their own flaws. An abuser wants to stop his partner from seeing the real causes of his behaviour. So he will dodge, lie, and convince the people around him, including his counsellor, that he isn't to blame for the abuse.
An abuser wants to stay a mystery, to escape the consequences of his behaviour and avoid facing his problem. Part of how he avoids facing it is by twisting the truth and convincing his victim, with total confidence, that she is the cause of his controlling behaviour.
When he cannot control people or keep winning them over, he skillfully creates confusion to shift attention away. He will go to great lengths to convince everyone he is not at fault, and keep misleading people through clever, manipulative tricks. Going to therapy and claiming he is now a devoted Christian are just more tricks he uses to escape responsibility, avoid judgment, and keep abusing.
The writer is a novelist, Big Brother Africa 2 Kenyan representative and founder of Jeff's Fitness Centre (@jeffbigbrother).
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What Happens to Your License After a DUI?
A DUI can change your ability to drive long after the traffic stop ends. You may suddenly have to figure out whether you can drive to work, when you might get your full license back, and what requirements stand between you and reinstatement. Those questions can become especially confusing because DUI laws vary from one state to another.
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Politicians pose danger to bereaved families, says Mukalo wa Kwayera
Veteran journalist Mukalo Kwayera has appealed to the Religious Society of Friends (Quakers) church to ban politicians from publicly handing cash to bereaved families at burial servicesKwayera argued that the trend is increasingly posing a great danger to families of deceased persons.He stated that whereas families who lose their loved ones will always need help in many forms, such assistance should be given with a tinge of decorum and a sense of security in mind.
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How to Make Money on Waridi as a Bonga Points Agent in Kenya
What if you could turn a simple service you provide to people around you into an income opportunity? That is the opportunity behind becoming a Waridi Agent.Waridi is a platform that helps Safaricom users convert their Bonga Points into cash through M-PESA. For many people, Bonga Points accumulate over time but are rarely used.
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Sarah Mtalii’s Stunning Modern Home Leaves Kenyans Talking After TikTok Tour
Businesswoman Sarah Mtalii has given Kenyan social media users a rare glimpse into her stylish modern home, and the sophisticated interior has quickly become a talking point online. A TikTok video shared by YouTuber Milly wa Jesus on 28 August 2026 captured Sarah inside her spacious residence as the two discussed a major furniture order. The visit also featured Milly’s husband, who joined the conversation as they explored options for bespoke dining furniture. While the discussion focused on sourcing an expensive dining table, viewers were equally interested in the elegant home surrounding Sarah. The bright, contemporary design, large glass wall features and open-plan spaces gave fans a closer look at the businesswoman’s refined taste.
The video showed Sarah welcoming Milly wa Jesus and her husband into what appeared to be a spacious living and kitchen area. The interior featured a clean contemporary aesthetic with plenty of natural light entering through large glass sections. A visible carpet and open kitchen layout added to the polished appearance of the space, while the overall design created an airy and uncluttered feel. The trio appeared relaxed as they moved around the house and discussed the furniture project. Although the visit had a clear business purpose, the home itself quickly became one of the biggest attractions for viewers watching the TikTok clip.
Milly wa Jesus and her husband were at Sarah’s home to discuss sourcing bespoke dining furniture that would fit her specific requirements. Sarah made it clear from the beginning that she was not looking for an ordinary dining set. She reportedly wanted a dining table worth KSh 3 million, making the project a significant investment in her home. The conversation then moved towards where the furniture could be sourced and what type of finish would best suit her interior. Sarah’s detailed instructions showed that she already had a strong vision of how she wanted the finished dining area to look.
Having spent time in China, Sarah demonstrated that she was familiar with the wide range of furniture available in the market. She was not simply looking for something expensive, but wanted a piece that matched a particular level of quality and sophistication. During the conversation, the group considered high-end options from the American, Italian and broader European markets. Milly pointed out that China offers a wide variety of furniture options, but the discussion quickly focused on finding something that would meet Sarah’s premium expectations. The exchange showed how much attention she was paying to the origin, appearance and overall quality of the piece she wanted.
Sarah was equally specific about the designs she wanted to avoid. She firmly expressed her dislike for shiny finishes, making it clear that excessive gloss was not part of the look she was trying to create. She also rejected furniture that appeared too vintage because she wanted an elegant contemporary style rather than a retro aesthetic. Her comments gave viewers a better understanding of the design principles guiding the furniture order. Instead of following a trend simply because it was expensive, Sarah appeared focused on achieving a cohesive look that reflected her personal taste. Her strong opinions also added humour to the conversation as Milly and her husband worked through the different possibilities.
The playful discussion about whether the furniture should “shine” added an entertaining element to the video. The three appeared to have an easy rapport as they debated the finer details of the furniture selection. At one point, Sarah reportedly admired a wallet in the room because of its quality, using it as a reference for the kind of finish and standard she wanted. These small details made the conversation feel less like a formal shopping consultation and more like an honest discussion between people trying to get a design exactly right. For viewers, the interaction offered both entertainment and an insight into how Sarah approaches major purchases for her home.
However, it was Sarah’s house that ultimately captured much of the attention from fans. The video provided a rare opportunity for viewers to see parts of the residence beyond what may normally appear on social media. The combination of natural light, glass architecture, contemporary furnishings and an open kitchen created a visually striking setting for the furniture discussion. The interior appeared carefully designed without relying heavily on overly decorative elements. For many viewers, the home provided another example of how modern Kenyan homeowners are embracing contemporary architecture and personalised interior design.
The glass wall features were among the elements that stood out in the footage because they allowed substantial natural light to enter the living areas. Glass architecture can create a stronger connection between different parts of a home while making interiors feel larger and more open. In Sarah’s residence, those features appeared to complement the clean lines and modern layout visible in the video. The open kitchen also contributed to the sense of continuity between the different spaces. These details helped create the upscale atmosphere that caught viewers’ attention even though the video was primarily focused on furniture.
Sarah’s approach to the dining table also highlights the growing interest in bespoke and premium furniture among homeowners with specific design preferences. A dining table can become a major focal point in an open-plan living space, particularly when the surrounding architecture has a contemporary feel. Sarah’s insistence on avoiding shiny and overly vintage designs suggests that she wants the furniture to complement the existing structure rather than compete with it. Her interest in American, Italian and European pieces also reflects the importance some consumers place on international design and craftsmanship. The KSh 3 million figure further demonstrates the level of investment she is prepared to make in achieving the desired result.
The TikTok video has therefore given fans two things to discuss, Sarah’s impressive home and her uncompromising approach to interior design. While the furniture negotiations provided the main storyline, viewers were naturally drawn to the stylish surroundings in which the conversation took place. Sarah’s willingness to explain exactly what she wants also made the video more engaging because it revealed her personal preferences rather than simply showing a finished home. The clip demonstrates how home tours and behind-the-scenes lifestyle content continue to attract strong interest on Kenyan social media. It also shows how a seemingly ordinary furniture consultation can become widely discussed when it involves a prominent personality and an eye-catching residence.
Sarah Mtalii’s home has ultimately become the centre of attention after Milly wa Jesus offered viewers a glimpse into the sophisticated space during their furniture consultation. From the KSh 3 million dining table to the preference for international high-end designs, Sarah demonstrated that she has a clear vision for the atmosphere she wants to create. Her rejection of shiny finishes and overly vintage pieces further showed that she values understated contemporary elegance over designs that simply appear expensive. The modern architecture, bright interiors and glass features gave fans plenty to admire beyond the furniture discussion itself. As the video continues to circulate online, Sarah’s home and her distinctive approach to interior design are likely to remain a talking point among Kenyan social media users.
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6 Key Things Every Classic Corvette Owner Should Know
A classic Corvette combines distinctive styling, American performance, and decades of automotive history. However, buying one involves more than choosing a favourite generation or paint colour. Below, we break down what to know about owning a classic Corvette.Learn the Differences Between GenerationsEach Corvette generation delivers a different driving experience.
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How Flexible Furniture Adapts to Changing Household Needs
Modern homes often serve many purposes throughout the day. A living room may become a guest room or a study area within hours. Flexible furniture helps households adapt to these changing needs without sacrificing comfort or style. Smart design choices allow every room to support different activities while making daily routines easier.
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How to Build a Proactive Warehouse Safety Program
Building a proactive warehouse safety program protects employees and reduces costly disruptions. Strong safety habits create an organized workplace where every team member understands expectations from the first day.Companies that focus on prevention build confidence while reducing unnecessary risks. A consistent approach also strengthens accountability across every department.
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Building Successful Instagram and TikTok Video Marketing Campaigns: A Comprehensive Guide
A short-form campaign can be completely approved and still not be ready to shoot. The budget is set. The media team has placements. Someone has already entered six Reels, eight TikToks, and a few paid cutdowns into the production calendar.Then the obvious question comes up: what should a viewer understand after watching one of them?
