Suppose Baringo Senator Gideon Moi goes to see a doctor after lobby group Mzalendo listed him among three senators who did not speak in the Senate in the whole of 2020.

Welcome, my fellow Doktari. I see here that your name did not feature in the Senate Hansard between November 5, 2019 and April 13, 2021. That is 525 days of not speaking, Mr Moi. I don’t know if it might be a symptom of “parliamentary lock-jaw disease” but we can always test.

Okay, I understand that you spent some of those days mourning your father who left us on February 4, 2020 and being crowned as his political successor. Commiserations, Senator.

I also see that the last time you spoke on the floor of the House, senators laughed at something to do with your attendance patterns.

See this Hansard report: It was during the discussion on increasing the country’s debt ceiling. The Deputy Speaker that day, Prof Kithure Kindiki, made a remark with a light touch.

The Hansard says here that Prof Kindiki asked the House: “Do you not expect Senator Moi to sit through the afternoon?”

It is a question he had directed to Bungoma Senator Moses Wentang’ula, who was apparently dragging the proceedings. Mr Wetang’ula also threw something of a jibe: “Mr Deputy Speaker, sir, he normally does, but he does not have that extreme patience.”

See, the Hansard report says there was laughter after those remarks. I don’t know what they were laughing at. Were they insinuating that you hardly sit through proceedings, Mr Senator? That might be a symptom of “political split personality” but again, we can always test.

Senator, I cite “political split personality” because we know your capabilities outside the Senate. Out here you are a natural, Mr Senator. Out here you are all over, preaching the gospel of the Building Bridges Initiative (BBI). Taking photos. Plotting a route to State House. Strategising for the One Kenya Alliance.

Oh, I saw that story about you skipping some One Kenya Alliance meetings here and there but I understand, Senator. You are turning 58 in October; a man as old as independent Kenya. That is not a very young man; so I understand.

Riding on a horseback

By the way, do you still play polo? You were pretty good at it. Riding on a horseback carrying a polo mallet while wearing a polo shirt doesn’t look too bad on you. 

Now, regarding the Senate and your not speaking on the floor, might you need any prescriptions?

I can see here that your next appearance in the Hansard after November 2019 is when you were welcoming Senator Haji Abdulkadir Mohamed, who had just taken over the reins from his father Yusuf Haji in the Senate.

Haters might say dynasty recognises dynasty but away with haters! Some people harbour so much hatred; hatred from here to Baringo ya Keti.

Now, the Hansard compilations by Mzalendo show that this year you have appeared on the record on two dates – April 13 when you welcomed Senator Haji and on May 11 when you voted in favour of the BBI Bill. Not bad at all, Senator. Not bad.

I also note that you are the chairman of the Senate Committee on Information, Communication and Technology. Communication, huh? Not bad.

Also, it is impressive that you are a member of three other committees: the Standing Committee on Lands, Environment and Natural Resources; the Senate Business Committee; and the Committee on Energy.

Busy lawmaker, huh? I suppose you do a lot more contributions there.

You know, these Mzalendo people only look at the Hansard. Maybe that is why they listed you with nominated senator Victor Prengei and Kajiado Senator Phillip Mpaayei as among those who were entirely mute in 2020. 

By Nation Africa